Dark Murky Water

Dark murky waters, that was what he starred at - and maybe it was even muddy. He saw his reflection staring back at him, shaded in the darkness of the water. His knees were crunched on the dry leaves and his faded jeans got brown stains from the earth underneath the leaves.

All around him trees had shed their leaves. No wind blew, no rustling of leaves, complete silence reigned. For him this was his safe place away from the world. A life he rather not remember, a life he tried to forget whenever he dropped by here. His face was bruised, his left eye was swollen up in a colour variation between black and purple, a cut lip with blood trickling down and a reddened right jaw. Drops of red blood dotted his blue t-shirt which probably had come from his split lip.

He stared at his image in the dark murky waters.

He opened his mouth and felt pangs of pain run through his face. The image too opened its face, though he doubted it felt pain.

He placed his palm above the water and he wanted to dip his hand in it, but he did not want to disturb the dark murky, calm water. His knuckles were raw, battered and bloodied. He was used to that.

He stared at the dark murky water and his image stared back at him. He wanted a permanent solution. Everyday out there in the world was becoming unbearable. He lowered his face, bringing it to the surface of the dark murky water. He could see his image up close. That disgusting black eye, the split lip and bruised jaw. He stared at this image, no, not image, he stared at his battered face through the dark murky water and then he pushed his head forward.

His head plunged inside the cool dark murky water. He could not see the bottom or maybe he saw it, brown particles floated all around him. This would be his solution he thought to himself, his permanent solution.

Ten seconds...

Fifteen seconds...

Twenty seconds...

He could hold his breath no more. Open your mouth, let the water come in... take the permanent solution he told himself. He opened his mouth, felt the air exhale from his lungs, he felt the water flood into his mouth.... and then he pulled his head out.

He huffed and puffed gaining back his breath. His head was drenched in water, and his t-shirt began getting with wet due to the dripping water.

He could not do it, he was a coward, he could not take his own permanent solution that would cure him of so much of pain. He was a coward.

He pulled himself up. It was time to leave. He would come back when he could again. Maybe then he would have the courage to try again.